My sister is my sister… I'm a Christian & she's still my sister.

I live in the age of rainbow colored hearts, apps that create rainbow colored pictures, and as many articles in both directions that I have never cared to read. To be honest, I have many friends who not only support gay rights, but also claim to live that lifestyle as well… and in many ways, I support them, because they are human. I am a Christian, who tries to pray for direction and guidance before my feet hit the floor each day, who believes every word written in the bible to be true, but who lives in a fallen, broken world and who has made more mistakes than most people do in their entire lifetime. As a follower of Christ, who refuses to make a judgement in either direction, who am I to condemn? Was I not called to love, instead?

A few months ago, one of my friends that I had come to be quite fond of was scrolling through pictures on Facebook and asked, "This girl looks like you, is that your sister?" I took a look at the picture, laughed out loud, and said, "Yeah, that's my sister. She's hilarious! I think you would like her!" I shared stories about her uncanny sense of humor, her ability to care about others whether she knows them or not, and how she could honestly be blood related to Melissa McCarthy. She not only looks like her to an absolute T… but in every movie I have ever watched with Melissa in it, I either have seen Connie do something similar or can see her doing the exact same thing. Facial expressions, witty comments, all of it, every time. Without fail. 

I told him, "Click on her profile… you'll die. Her cover photo is her dressed as a wrestler when she went to see their like 100th episode or something." We laughed for a few minutes, he thought she was hysterical… "She has a nice body too. Look at that bikini!" I had completely forgotten that she had very poorly photoshopped her head onto a model's body… and then proceeded to make it her profile picture with the caption that read, "Loving my new hair!"

Those curls though...

We were scrolling through photos and I was telling him all about my sister, who before I go any further, I am absolutely proud to be her baby sister… there's not a day that goes by that I wish anything was different. I love her for exactly who she is. In my mind, she is my sister… there's not a chance that I would put any other label in front of that. He scrolled through her pictures and stopped, "Wait… who is that?" 

"That's her girlfriend," I said. "She's like the perfect person for Connie. I think they just balance each other out perfectly." Never once have I ever been ashamed of my sister and I wasn't about to start now. 

"You're sister is a lesbian… how does that work?"

At first, I couldn't help but to laugh. I wasn't actually sure of where the conversation was going and was just imagining the conversation I was about to have with my very Godly, straight and narrow, never done anything wrong, bible reading friend. I laughed as I said, "How does what work?"

"If she's a lesbian. You're a Christian, right? How does that work?"

I stopped laughing… and stared at the table in front of us, clicked on my phone as I do in awkward situations, and sat silent for a few moments. 

I have this mindset of protecting the people I love and in all of my years since my sister has "come out," I've never, honestly, had a single person who had a problem with it-- never once have I ever thought of it as a hinderance to my own personal faith or to the relationship I have with her. She's my sister and I know for a fact, even if she wasn't, Connie would be one of those people who I would proudly associate myself with. I have no words to explain the depth of the love I have for her. 

Once the anger subsided a little, I tried to reason with myself on the most appropriate answer to give… I took a deep breath and with as much kindness as I could find in that moment, I said, "I show her love, just as I would if she was straight. My relationship with Jesus makes me a Christian. If I allowed my sister's choice on who she loves to impact my personal relationship with him, wouldn't that be more of a problem than just choosing to love my sister?"

He reached over and grabbed a bible from underneath a chair, flipped the pages and read from 1 Corinthians 6, "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." 

Blood rushed to my face. I was fuming. "Are you joking? Do you think I haven't read that? You also just said my sister had a "nice body," doesn't that make you sexually immoral because of lust?" I put my hands on my knees, getting ready to stand up to walk away before I punched this kid's glasses into his face and the first thing that came to mind was obviously what I said, a bible verse from Galatians that I learned during my first year at Mizzou, "The entire law is summed up in one command, love your neighbor as yourself, you idiot." I obviously added the "you idiot," onto the end for effect… although I think Jesus may have been able to get his points across more firmly had he used insults… or maybe not. 

I stood up, turned to face him and said, "How does that work? It works because I love her and I don't throw the bible in her face, and I respect her for who she is, and I won't judge her or anyone else that lives differently than I do." I have very little self-control over anger, I know it's a problem, but by this time, honestly, I wanted to smack the love of Jesus in him. "You want to judge me, do it. But don't you dare judge my sister, who you only know through a few photos on Facebook. If you hate "them" so much and you're a Christian, how does that work?" I turned around and headed towards the door. 

I called his name in a room full of people and said, "Read John 8," and I walked out of the room to never go back to that church again. 

I kicked my tires a couple times… punched the steering wheel… probably said a couple words that started with "F" and for the first time in my entire life, I understood why so many people who are broken, hurt, lost, living in sin, whatever, are refusing to walk inside the doors of churches. Personally, for me, I want to be where I am accepted… and if the world was accepting of me, wouldn't that be my first choice? I don't judge them… In fact, after this conversation, I actually understood them.

Church, we need to step up and show love.

I am a Christian and my sister is a lesbian, simply put, I don't think either one calls me to hate the other… I will praise the name of Jesus for giving me the funniest, most kind hearted, incredibly witty, I have no idea what she is going to do next, takes pictures with dead squirrels, loves me so incredibly much, is terrible at photoshop, loves with her whole being, and respects me and my faith just as much as I respect her personal choice to live her life the way she wants. I am so thankful that God gave me my sister… not despite of who she is but because of who she is. 

I mean, come on… 

what thirty something hangs out with their 20 something sister at Chuck E Cheese. 

I don't need to read articles written by radical Christians who live so far in the past that they can't even understand why people would rather choose to continue down whatever path they have chosen than to set foot in a church. I can't stand to associate myself with people who are so aware of everyone else's sin that they can't even find the log in their own eye. 

For Matthew 7:5 says, 

"You deceive yourself! First take the log out of your eye, and then you'll see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother or sister's eye."

Love doesn't win, guys… it already has won. Go back to your roots, to your favorite childhood passage, "For God so LOVED the WORLD that he gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." Keep going. "For God sent his son into the world, NOT TO CONDEMN, but that the world through him might be saved." -John 3:16-17

THAT IS LOVE at it's finest, in it's most precious and purest form. 

God loved the world, not just saints and church goers who live perfect lives and never fall off the straight and narrow path, he loves the world… including me and my sister and my friend, and you, and everyone else no matter the sin or lifestyle they choose. Jesus paid much too high of a price for us, mere men, to pick and choose who is worthy enough for us to show kindness and love and acceptance… The price he paid on the cross was a debt we could never pay, the cost was much too high for us to choose who should come and follow Him. 

I would rather go to a church full of sin, full of gays and lesbians, full of strippers and hookers, and gamblers and dancers, and single mothers with children born out of wedlock, and drunks… than a congregation full of narrow minded, hateful, and unaccepting saints. 

Who am I to condemn my sister? I try to follow Jesus with everything I am and I will be the first to stand in front of my sister and defend her… because I care… because I was called to love… because I do know the truth and my relationship with Jesus tells me to. 

She even supports my school-- MU.

My sister and her girlfriend are the two most giving and selfless people I know. I not only accept them & respect them as people, I couldn't imagine my life or family without either one of them. I think I speak for my entire family when I say that. 

How does that work?

I love my sister because she rides around town with me blaring ghetto music, who screams over bad lyrics, likes Dairy Queen, but loves Ted Drews, isn't afraid to give me tough love, doesn't shy away from hard conversations, who believes in me probably more than I believe in myself. I love her not because of her sexual orientation, but because she is crazy, plays in sewers, always opens her home to me and lives with confidence to be herself in a world that tells her otherwise.

She has loved me when I wasn't so lovable, made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, and even friended people on Facebook just to stick up for me. She gives me words of wisdom like my favorite, "After 150, it all goes down hill… stop eating or throw up if you have to. Trust me, you don't want to be fat." or "If you don't know want you're doing, make eye contact and walk as fast as you can away from the situation." Above everything else, she has stayed on the phone talking to me for hours, told me to "man up" when I needed to hear it, and has always tried her hardest to be a part of my life- even when I tried to push everyone out. 

There is just no one else in the world that can make me laugh as hard as her. 

I am proud to be her baby sister, not because of a label, but because she knows how to love people better than many of the Christians I know. To judge her from a single Facebook photo or because of a label is not of Christ. To know Connie is to love her and if you know me or my family, you know just how true that is… and if you don't know her, I encourage you to. 

My relationship with my sister has absolutely no bearing on my relationship with Christ.. In fact, it probably pushes me to be more like Christ and to show more love and to be more accepting had I not been given my sister. 

I don't know what is it like to live in a world where others are constantly debating over whether or not the person I love is something that should be legal. I don't know what it is like to be a lesbian or to struggle with those thoughts, I don't know because I don't know so I could never give a judgment… I can simply say what the bible says in a gentle, loving way… without adding "you idiot" onto passages that I feel need more emphasis… but as I have said before, I do believe that my God is bigger and his love is deeper than anything else. 

So because I referenced it earlier, I'll put it here to end; 

John 8: 1-11

"But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 

They were using this questions as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until nay Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 

"No one, sir." She said. 

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

I wasn't joking about the dead squirrel pictures…