Why does my kid have to pay the price for your kid's comfort?

I read an article recently about a parent group trying to overturn the "No Peanut" decision in the public school system where their children attend. The article quoted a parent who said, "I had to tell my daughter who loves peanut butter and jelly that she no longer could enjoy her favorite snack just because of another child's problems. Why does my kid have to pay the price for your kid's comfort?"

As a person who has had a peanut allergy all her life, my question to you is, "Why does your kid's 'comfort' trump my life?"



I posted this picture to my Facebook page last week about running into a store, grabbing a candy bar without paying attention only to get home and realize it was a new addition, "peanut butter twix."As a joke to downplay the allergy, I posted this caption, "Another case of Tedi forgot to pay attention happened again. Oh, how I wished I lived in a peanut free world, where peanut contaminated candy didn't disguise itself to look like normal everyday candy."


Yes, it is obviously printed on the package that it contains peanuts… and thankfully, I am old enough to read it and understand that it isn't something that I can eat… when I actually pay attention. I've lived my whole life with this allergy and am accustomed to carrying Epipens, asking for ingredients in restaurants, reading labels on foods, and avoiding anything that is questionable… to put it simply, I have learned to be extremely cautious. 

Does it always matter? No. 

As a child in an elementary school nearly two decades ago, concerns like mine were not taken seriously. I remember trading lunches with another girl in the first grade only to find out I couldn't eat hers, I remember being surrounded by peanut butter sandwiches at lunch, worried about being touched by another student with peanut butter fingers, and choosing not to raise my hand to answer questions when I knew the reward would be chocolate candy bars that may contain traces of peanuts. There was a time around the third grade when I was told I had to sit at a different table for lunch, away from my friends and classmates, simply because it was the only way I could be guaranteed safety. I learned to hate my allergy, try to hide it from the world, and to be careless in order to fit in… simply because I didn't want to feel like an outcast.

Did being that cautious even matter? No.

I have had countless trips to Emergency Rooms, I have spent many weeks in ICU rooms, I have used Epipens more times than I can count, and I have been exposed accidentally to my allergen because of someone else not being careful. Sometimes it has been my fault for being willing to take the risk, but other times my life has been placed in jeopardy because of someone else's carelessness and refusal to understand the life threatening nature of living with a peanut allergy. 

For me, what I eat and what my food contains is a matter of life and death. I do support taking peanuts out of schools because while I know what to look for on food labels now, children do not. Children want to fit it. Children don't want to be segregated from their friends and have to sit at special lunch tables without their peers. Children touch everything and put their hands in their mouths, which could be a deadly decision. At 23, I still have a hard time choosing foods without peanuts, how do we expect a 5 year old child to always make the right choice? It isn't realistic… especially when we have the choice as adults to make a healthy and safe environment for everyone. 

The article I read made the argument that, "those kids can just carry Epipens…" News flash, world… here's what you don't know about Epinephrine. It is scary. I have laid in hospital beds and ambulances as I could literally feel my heart beating inside my chest. My blood pressure has been dangerously over 250 more times than I can count. Epinephrine is a high dose of pure, man-made adrenaline which causes the body to either fight or shut down. Depending on the allergic reaction, I have experienced both… both extremely painful. It can also cause severe bleeding, lack of clotting, and muscle weakness. Imagine trying to breathe with a swollen throat while your heart is beating so quickly… it may only last a couple minutes, but it feels like an eternity of suffocation. Anyone who has ever had an allergic reaction and has needed an Epipen would tell you that while usually the side effects are minimal, no one would willingly choose that… especially for a child. Your argument is not only invalid, it is bordering on child abuse. 

I do carry an Epipen, several actually... and while yes, they have saved my life countless times… they have also not worked or they have required several doses just to counteract the reaction. Why would we make a child go through that pain if it can be prevented? Anaphylaxis is painful. For me, my throat swells, my chest tightens, my muscles stiffen, breathing is hard, and I can't swallow… there have been times when my lungs stop moving air and my throat has nearly closed completely. Most of the time, it's within minutes of eating an allergen. I've had tubes put down my throat, through my nose, shots in my side, legs, and arms, and oxygen tubes trying to keep my lungs from collapsing. That isn't even including the pain of the shots, IVs, medicines, side effects, and the disruption of normalcy. Is all of that worth it just so your child can eat peanuts?

Let your daughter eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when she gets home… teaching her that her comfort matters more than another child's life is setting her up to fail. Teach her about compassion, empathy, and sensitivity instead. I'm not telling you to stop feeding your child peanut butter sandwiches because I can't eat them, I am simply saying, let her eat them at home where my life won't be at risk if I come in contact with her. 

Just in case you are not convinced that this is a real issue, here's some statistics I found:

• Every 3 minutes, a food allergy reaction sends someone to the emergency department – that is more than 200,000 emergency department visits per year. 
• This potentially deadly disease affects 1 in every 13 children (under 18 years of age) in the U.S. That’s roughly two in every classroom.
• Teenagers and young adults with food allergies are at the highest risk of fatal food-induced anaphylaxis.
• Eight foods account for 90 percent of all reactions: milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, fish and shellfish. Even trace amounts of a food allergen can cause a reaction. Peanuts and tree nuts are the only allergen known to be airborne, which is identified as not needing to be ingested in order to cause a reaction.
• Somewhere around 150 to 200 people die in the U.S. each year because of food allergies. It is estimated that around 50 percent to 62 percent of those fatal cases of anaphylaxis were caused by peanut allergies. Around 75 percent of those fatalities are under the age of 18. 

How many more kids have to die before this is something we actually take seriously? To put it nicely, why does my kid have to pay the price for your kid's comfort?

I'm at a place now where I can joke about my allergy and take silly pictures when I'm sitting in a hospital bed with oxygen on my face and IVs in my arm… I've learned to live life with my allergy and to be cautious on days when I don't want to. I have learned to live with this, to react quickly, and to take it seriously…to occasionally make peanut jokes and to laugh when my dad asks if I want a peanut butter and jelly or rubs his favorite chair down in peanuts just so I'll sit somewhere else. In the process of dealing with this, I have learned to not take myself so seriously, that not everything can be avoided and to laugh when you have to have five different nurses during one night shift just because they accidentally ate something with nuts. But I have learned all of this because I had adults in my life fighting to keep me alive before I even knew what a peanut allergy was… every kid deserves that same voice and a chance to feel safe in their own school, sitting at their lunch table.