To my teachers, 10 years later... Thank you!

When I was in high school, I was called over to the bench during warm ups to talk to my coach. His head was down and he said my name in the way he always did when he was disappointed with something I did... I remember sitting on the bench waiting, trying to think of an excuse as to why I had skipped out on 6th hour the day before and why I was late to class that morning. He looked at me, but I kept my head down... staring at my shoelaces, as I always did when I was in trouble... and he said, "Tedi Ellis, would you like to tell me what I already know before I have to say it?"

He always used both of my names. Always. 

I nodded. I learned a long time ago about the way he phrased things... I had spent several years with him prior to this soccer season and he was not only my coach, but I had him as a teacher as well, and he handled my workouts (when I bothered to show up, off season). "Tedi Ellis," he said. "Last chance."

I held my ground.

"I had a talk with one of your teachers today... He thought it would be a good idea for me to read one of your papers, your 20 page paper, that you turned in today."

I looked up to see him holding a stack of papers in his hand, and immediately I was confused as to whether I was in trouble or if I was being recognized for my hard work in the classroom. He started complimenting my work, the paper, and said that it was one of the best "literary works" he had ever read and asked if it was okay if he shared his favorite part. I nodded, completely sure that I had just earned brownie points with my coach and would probably be recognized for my academic ability, finally! 

He started, "As part of the senate, my plan is..." he looked up at me as he finished the sentence, but because I did not understand his point, I said, "Yeah, that was my favorite part too." Truth is, if I ever bothered to pay attention, I would have probably known what the senate was... and even today, I'd maybe be closer to understanding how it all works together. Who knows? 

He tried his best to hide back his smile and said, "Would you like me to read it again?" I nodded, but slowly I could feel my heart beating faster. I was caught. 

This time he began, fully enunciating, "As part of the senate," with an emphasis on "the SENATE," and he continued. "Tedi Ellis, when were you part of the SENATE?"

That was easy. 

I have always had this problem where my brain goes a thousand miles ahead of common sense and has a hard time catching up with reality, so instead of just doing what the normal person would have done and admitted to plagiarism, I gave a rationale. "No, no... that's not what I meant to say. I MEANT when I become the senate."

He looked at me, with a stare that could kill, and said, "I'll continue then," and he flipped the page, but this time asked me to read the next paragraph as he pointed to what was already highlighted. I started reading when he said, "Out loud, Tedi Ellis."

"I did my professional studies at Harvard under the advisement of..." and I stopped as I came to the the sentence that said, "Although we were both men involved in politics from our early college years..."

I stared down at my shoe laces again, not daring to look up... but I could feel the wrath of my coach about to come out. I knew I was in trouble and I knew I had to admit defeat. We sat there for a few moments when he finally said "Tedi Ellis, either you have some explaining to do as to why you're playing on my high school GIRLS soccer team or you didn't write this paper."

You think by this time, any normal and sane person would have finally given it up, but not Tedi Ellis... I was not one to back down, not even in the face of adversity.

"I forgot to put that part in quotations?" I asked, more as a question than a statement this time.

"Go ahead, flip the page."
"Okay, I get it... if I had changed those parts, would you have believed that I wrote it?"
He shook his head. "Tedi Ellis, you forgot to delete the blue links at the bottom of the pages... and you left the wikipedia table."

I laughed. He didn't.

He yelled a little and told me that he was disappointed in me. He told me about how he expected more... about how he couldn't believe I thought I would get away with it... and about how I knew better. He told me that he wanted a brand new paper on his desk the next morning, so that he could read through it with me before I turned it in with an apology to my history teacher. He told me that this was the only chance I would ever get and from that point on, he expected everything to be my own work and nothing else. I understood. I whispered a tiny little apology, no excuses, just an apology. I messed up and I knew it and I took the responsibility for it. 

He told me to go back to the drills with my teammates, but before I ran off, I asked, "If I wouldn't have copied all that and would've deleted the link, would you have believed that I wrote it?"

This smile stretched across his face and you could tell he wanted to hold back laughter as he said, "Tedi Ellis, you turned in a 22 page paper for an assignment that was only supposed to be 3-5 pages."
He smiled as he said, "You'll also be running stairs all of next week after practice."

"Yes," I said. "Understood."

I finished practice with my teammates. I stayed up late that night. I wrote everything I possibly could have from the semester about politics and government and how the system works for America. I put it on my coach's desk the next morning. We went over it. I made corrections. I turned it in with a heartfelt apology and I moved on. I ran stairs every day after practice for the entire next week without complaining. I had shin splints that hurt just to get out of bed and my shins were taped the rest of the season. I learned my lesson. 

It made me a better student and it made me a better athlete. 

However, when grades came out, my teacher failed me. He gave me a zero. I plagiarized, I wrote a new paper, I apologized, I learned my lesson, and I still got a zero. I still passed the class... but he gave me absolutely no credit for the paper I did write. I was beyond annoyed. Frustrated. Mad. Angry. I thought I deserved something, that I was somehow entitled to an A. In my 16 year old brain, it just wasn't fair. 

I did the work, I should've gotten an A. 

As an adult, nearly ten years later, I am thankful my teachers handled it like they did. They showed me that hard work pays off, but only when it is done correctly the first time. They taught me that when I make mistakes, I should own up to them, and acknowledge exactly where I went wrong. They taught me to apologize, without excuses, and to face whatever came with it. 

Every single one of my teachers taught me more than a textbook ever could, they taught me character. They taught me how to become someone worthy of integrity, someone full of honesty, someone who keeps going when odds are stacked against them. They never handed me anything, but rather they showed me how to become someone who worked hard, who believed in herself, and that it was never wrong to admit a mistake. They taught me that school came first, and no matter how good I was on the field, I would be nothing without an education. 

Looking back, I didn't have the best grades and I certainly wasn't the smartest in the classroom... but my teachers saw past that and they gave me a start in life that was based entirely on character. They showed me how to be a better person and how to become successful just because of who I am, not what I will achieve. 

I was a kid, who gave the teachers trouble. I would show up late, sleep during tests, and barely finish the homework. They didn't give up though. I always brought snacks, talked too much, and could never focus long enough to understand lessons. I had a great memory, but I never studied, and I hardly ever put forth effort. My teachers still poured into me. They invested into me, into my life, into me. They never gave up. They were never recognized for that, though. As a country, and as a state, we only recognize test scores and grades and academic performances... but unfortunately, my teachers never got recognized for anything to do with me academically. Sorry not sorry, I just wasn't that kid. 

The greatest lesson I ever learned was when I plagiarized, got caught, apologized and wrote a new paper, and still got a zero... My teachers took the time out to make sure I understood, and more importantly that I never made that same mistake again. 

They might have taught me government, or math, or history, but I couldn't tell you a single thing from that, but I can tell you that my softball coach showed me how to laugh through the mess, how to work hard and see results, and how to throw everything you have towards something you want. I can tell you how my soccer coach taught me to be honest, to show compassion, and to own up to any mistake that I make. It was my math teacher who showed me that there is nothing wrong with being a little different, as long as you stay true to who you are. It was my history teacher who taught me to do it right the first time because nothing will be handed to you in life. It was my English teacher who taught me that my mind was a gift and I should never take that for granted. It was my principal, who showed compassion and grace every chance she got, who taught me that everyone deserves another chance. It was my Psychology teacher, who taught me that it was okay if I didn't fit in a box like everyone else, as long as I was happy. It was all of them who taught me that sometimes the things you least expect are sometimes the most worthy of investment. 

My parents gave me life and they raised me to be who I am and for that I am forever thankful, but it was the teachers in my life who gave me the tools, and the discipline, and the path, and the drive to actually become the person I am now. Textbooks don't teach, it is the teachers who take on that responsibility. 

I wouldn't be who I am now without them, and that is something that is worthy of all the credit in the world.