I will never claim to understand how it feels to feel outcasted and alone based off of the color of my skin. I will never claim to truly understand the impact of the "n-word," or to know exactly the weight of prejudice or racist comments directed at me. I will never know how it feels to be black in a world that is not inclusive and representative of the potential of my race.
… but I want to listen and understand and try to relate. I want to know how it affects YOU and how I can use my privilege to help YOU feel more inclusive, more empowered, strengthened, and heard. I want to hold your hand, if you will let me, and walk beside YOU as YOU use your voice to change things that should not be acceptable and should not be tolerated any longer.
Acknowledging this is not any attempt at all to downplay the choices Jonathan Butler has made or the #MizzouHungerStrike or the supporters of #ConcernedStudent1950. I am simply saying this because I do not understand, I just do not understand. I do not have any idea what kind of thought process goes into making a decision like this, a decision that says remove this man from his position or I will starve myself and I am prepared to die. With that being said, I also do not know what goes into the thought process that says, I am okay with calling this black man the n-word or ignoring racism on a campus where it is more than evident.
I think, for me, I also have to acknowledge that I do not know because I was ignorant to the real issues and fell victim to believing that racism was in the past. I knew of racism, but I didn't know racism. I didn't believe it existed in terms of my world or context, but it does. It is real and alive and I know there is a long history of valuing white lives over black… but with the recent events that happened around Mizzou and throughout this hunger strike, it is that much more apparent that unless change comes, our future generation and the future of our university is damned.
Why do good men have to die for good causes? It's a haunting question. Terrifying, actually. Do good men have to die in order to make any good change? Do good men have to take drastic measures to be heard and understood? Does Jonathan Butler have to be another man on a long list of those who lost their lives trying to do good in a world where so much is wrong?
I honestly do not know what to think of everything going on at Mizzou right now. I know the actions of many of the students on our campus have not made me proud to be a Tiger… or to call Mizzou my home. I do not know the weight of making such a final decision to end my life for the purpose of advancing awareness around a specific issue… I don't know what that must be like. My heart is sad that this was a choice that had to be made but even more so, that another young black man with a bright future could potentially die. However, I also applaud his determination, strength, and courage to stand up against an entire school system, demand a change, and fight for a better future for Mizzou.
"One person can't do everything… but everyone can do something."
I'm conflicted when I say, "I hope it works." While I hope real change happens before his life is lost, I also know that a lot of change happens far too late. Jonathan Butler, I applaud you. I support you. You are inspiring. Your courage is something many, including myself, severely lack. I would stand with you, if you would let me… using our voices to change and end racism not just at Mizzou, but everywhere…
I only wish that together, white and black, that we could find another way that did not include Jonathan Butler losing his life.
You can do better, Mizzou.
To read more about #MizzouHungerStrike or #ConcernedStudent1950:
